Furthermore, the Secret Service would no longer be needed, because the president and first lady (who, by the way, is his cousin) are armed and will happily provide their own security. Also, a Ford F350 Super Duty is 4WD, cheaper, and easier to fortify than a stretched Lincoln Town Car.
Air Force One would be camoed and Marine One could be painted blaze orange. Deer season would be extended to an astonishing 52 weeks a year with a graduated tax deduction beginning with a 6-pointer.
Yes sir, wouldn’t it be nice? Instead of spit and polish, lies and deceit, half-trues and spin, we’d have a plain-speaking, honest, down-to-earth Redneck in the Oval Office. You might not like what he says, but you’d know it would be the truth. Wouldn’t it be nice?
CHUCK PINKEY is a retired area businessman. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of The Daily Star and its editorial board, but the author thinks they ought to.