The other day, we received an email titled, "You know you live in an upside-down land if ... "
Generally, I prefer the more-racy emails. However, one should not judge a book by its cover, so we opened it.
Voila! Here was a collection of wit and wisdom that even the wildest liberal would have to admit shows the degree of lunacy that has become 21st century America. Let's look at a few examples:
"You know you live in an upside-down land, if you can be arrested for an expired automobile registration, but not for being an illegal immigrant."
How about, "You know you live in an upside-down land, if the Muslim officer that shot up Fort Hood in 2009 is considered to have committed 'workplace violence,' but returning vets who own guns and frequent Tea Parties are considered potential "domestic terrorists."
Next, we have a government that believes the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more.
Another is, "Hard work and success are rewarded with higher taxes and more government intrusion, but slothful, lazy behavior is awarded with EBT cards, welfare checks, Medicaid and subsidized housing."
Let's not forget this one, "You need your parent's permission to go on a school trip, but not to get an abortion."
You get the picture. Being politically correct whenever possible and always sensitive to the feelings of others, we thought of some further examples of the "upside-down land" that we have become.
First, you know you live in an upside-down land when the media claims a "flip-flop" every time Mitt Romney changes his mind on an issue, but praises President Obama for "evolving" when he does the same.
Next in the Land of Oz, a decorated war veteran with decades in the U.S. Senate loses a presidential election to a community organizer from Kenya, ah … Hawaii.
Imagine an upside-down land where hard work and thrifty living are panned, yet fathering multiple children by multiple mothers is bragged about.
Only in our land can someone pay for groceries at Walmart with food stamps, and then drive home in a BMW or Mercedes.
Envision a country where sports figures or Hollywood stars are admired for earning hundreds of millions of dollars, but a CEO from a multibillion-dollar industry is condemned.
Picture a politician or celebrity who receives farm subsidies for an estate in the Dakotas, while a local dairy farmer sees his income drop by 30 percent from one year to the next.
In 21st century "Never-Never Land," when a cow is diagnosed with Mad-Cow disease, the location of her dam and all her offspring are immediately known, but no one can find the 15 million illegal immigrants running around the country.
You know you live in an upside-down land, when President Barack Obama burns enormous amounts of fossil fuel flying around the country on Air Force One giving speeches promoting "green" energy.
The inmates are running the asylum when we sit on huge deposits of gas and oil, but the timid are afraid to act. Instead, we pour billions down the "green" energy sewer.
We bumped our collective head, when the major networks label the Tea Party as radical, yet at the same time praise the Bums of Occupy, as they burn vehicles, disrupt traffic, smoke dope and create attractive tent cities in our public parks.
You know you're still on the "yellow brick road," when counseling can be gotten at Planned Parenthood in Texas for a gender-based abortion. We subsidize these folks to the tune of half a billion a year, so someone can abort a female fetus because they would prefer a boy! God help us!
You've joined Alice in Wonderland when in our major cities, your right to self-defense is abridged. Call 911 and enjoy the time with your assailant. Offer him a drink or a smoke, because the police are only 14.5 minutes away, rather than sending him to the Promised Land with a 4" Smith & Wesson Model 27 stroked with Winchester 158 grain hollow points at 1250 fps.
You know you live in an upside-down land when politicians have promised for generations to cut spending and eliminate waste and we are now over $16 trillion in debt. How could this be?
It is absolute Nirvana, when the 50 percent of Americans who pay no income tax complain that the 50 percent who do, are not paying "their fair share."
And finally, you know you live in an upside-down land when flags are flown at half-staff because of a tragic drug-related death of a pop diva, but not for the death of young men or women who wore their country's uniform.
Chuck Pinkey is the owner of River Valley New Holland Inc. in Otego. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of The Daily Star and its editorial board.