Bam! I got a shot to the shins that only a wife of 43 years can deliver, and Sue whispered in my ear, “That painting you have of Elvis that glows in the dark IS NOT ART!” Now, what am I going to do?
“Well? Ah, I have a Colt Python with Class “E” engraving and carved Ivory grips. Quite a work of art,” I said. Margret asked, “What’s a Colt Python, and I don’t like the sound of ‘carved’ ivory?” “It’s a Colt revolver. A handgun with beautiful engraving and ornately carved ivory grips. It’s a real beauty!”
“A gun?” she replied. “Elephant ivory? Do you mean this great animal had to die to decorate your gun?” she continued. I’m thinking, “Thanks, Honey! I should have told her about Elvis.”
I explained, “I believe new Elephant ivory is illegal. These grips are old, and at the time, ivory was plentiful and legal. Besides, the elephant was probably taken by a hunter who paid a large fee. The money and meat went to the land owner and villagers in Africa. The ivory was sold, too, and that benefited all.”
“Hmm. What scene is ‘carved’ on his ivory? A slaughter scene from a bloody Africa hunt?” Margret questioned.
My wife has this “You better shut up, Chuck” look on her face, but I have to answer the lady’s question. “No.” I said “It pictures a nude female in a very provocative position. You know … art!”
“I’m sure that magnificent creature would feel fulfilled.” she says. “Trust me, my lady, there are worse ways of being remembered,” I said. Her husband, the zombie, nodded and smiled.
Sensing blood in the water, Margret asked what I thought of President Obama. I told her that I thought he is the worst, most inexperienced president we have ever had, and that he is turning America into a socialist country.