The Daily Star, Oneonta, NY - otsego county news, delaware county news, oneonta news, oneonta sports

July 16, 2013

Border war, or battle of the bulge?

Chuck Pinkey
Contributing Writer

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Sadly, I heard the other night that the United States of America ranks second in obesity. That’s right, we are second only to Mexico in our percentage of fat people. I wonder why that is? 

We’ll get back to that in a minute. Last Wednesday, I was eating Chinese with some friends, some of whom are Jewish, and we began discussing ethnic foods. One of my friends was eating something resembling seaweed, drinking soup that looked like you dragged a chicken through it, and talking about the joys of Jewish food.

Feeling somewhat defensive, I pointed out that Jewish folks have unleavened bread and Christians have Italian bread. Japanese have sushi, but Americans have prime rib. Do you think the Chinese want to compare the fortune cookie to an Oreo? Bet not!

In Hong Kong, they eat fried insects. In Buffalo, we have hot wings! What is the common thread running through pizza, spaghetti and meat balls, pot roast, and hot fudge sundaes? They are all American foods!

What could be better than Jack Daniels, McDonalds, or KFC? Who would want to savor borscht soup or matzo balls, when you can eat a sloppy cheeseburger or a chili dog with cheese? 

Like the icon of obese Americana, Homer Simpson, would say, “Mmm, bacon!”

The common denominator to all the above good food is the unqualified success of America in her ability to produce artery-clogging, great-tasting food.

We’ll get back to that in a minute, but meanwhile, the liberal media is in a buzz! The Senate has passed a comprehensive immigration reform package and the House Republicans have declared it dead on arrival.

They maintain that they will tackle the issue with smaller, more targeted laws that do not repeat the mistakes of 1986 and Obamacare. In 1986, under President Reagan, immigration reform was passed, amnesty granted, but the border was not secured. 

Now, we have this monstrosity of a bill, akin to Obamacare, that will eventually grant amnesty or citizenship to 11 million to 15 million illegals (or undocumented Democrats), and probably, someday, eventually, you can believe us this time, secure the border, maybe. 

Like my father used to say, “Fool you once, shame on them. Fool you twice? Shame on you!”

The Republicans want to keep it simple. Secure the border first. Is that unreasonable or hard to understand? Surely, with millions of illegals already here and unemployment hovering at 8 percent, we should not need any more workers “to do the jobs Americans won’t do.”

Let’s tie all this together, shall we? Obviously, America ranks second in obesity, because we are being overrun by Mexicans who love our food. Who doesn’t enjoy a juicy prime rib with garlic mashed potatoes and a cold Bud? The logic is easy to follow. 

As a bonus to the Republicans’ immigration reform package, I’d bet that if we could secure the border, we’d drop to at least fifth place in obesity! If for no other reason, we should do it for the children.

On an unrelated topic, I’m sure you’ve noticed that the Egyptian military has removed President Morsi and his pro-Muslim brotherhood government. Good news, one would think?

A while back, President Obama and the liberal media were going “gaga” over the so-called “Arab Spring” that swept North Africa and the Middle East, and it turned out to be a resounding success like “hope and change” was here at home. They should have known better.

Now, when pro-western forces are taking control, they “are very concerned” and “may withhold aid.” Even Republican Senator John McCain, who should retire and let young blood take over or at least keep his mouth shut, shows such concern about the overthrow of this “elected” government.

Maybe these fat cat politicians who are ruining our country, spending us into bankruptcy, living like kings, and corrupt to the bone should be “very concerned” that our military will also ... .

Note: The 16th annual 500 Yard Ponderosa Shoot long-range rifle competition will begin at noon Sunday, July 28, at 699 County Highway 39 in Worcester, with classes for men’s custom rifle and standard rifle, women’s custom rifle and standard rifle, AR class (Yes, Gov. Cuomo, they do have a sporting purpose),  50BMG (same answer, Gov. Cuomo), iron sights, military sniper, WWII and prior. Call 432-8180 or 435-3358. All are welcome (except you, Gov. Cuomo.) Civil War cannon demonstration before the shoot at 11 a.m.