The Daily Star, Oneonta, NY - otsego county news, delaware county news, oneonta news, oneonta sports

Chuck Pinkey

August 13, 2013

Trust me, I'm as old as I need to be

(Continued)

Next, in the big supermarkets and chain stores, if your ear lobes are stretched so big that one can read the Daily Star through the holes and you have six or more facial piercings, I’d rather you not handle my food.

Furthermore, I know you cannot make change without the register telling you how much to give. So, how in the world do you expect to tell if that $50 bill is real or counterfeit? Therefore, quit wasting my time by holding it up to the light, and making like you know what you’re doing!

Have you noticed that TV advertisement showing helicopters covering Mt. McKinley with plastic wrap? Apparently, we are using enough plastic garbage bags to cover the mountain each year, and as we all know, “plastic will stay in a landfill for 1,000 years.”

However, if we use this particular heavy-duty garbage bag, it will hold more garbage and therefore, we won’t cover as much of the mountain next year. But, does anyone stop to think that it might be a good thing that plastic lies inert and doesn’t decay and leach into the ecosystem “for 1,000 years?”

Next, does anyone really believe President Obama’s Press Secretary Jim Carney is actually answering questions? If you do, please check “no” on the “Are you capable of thought?” question on your next job application.

When you enter I-88, you are supposed to yield, as in “It’s not your turn.” If we can move over, we will, but often, we are being passed by the Dixieland Express and have nowhere to go. I know this is difficult, but focus! We were there before you. Wait for an opening.

Not all puppies and kittens are produced in puppy and kitten mills. Would you please stop with the teary-eyed actresses and pathetic videos of dogs and cats making me feel guilty sitting there at night eating my $3.99 per half gallon Breyer’s Fudge Royale ice cream, when “for only thirty cents a day ...”

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Chuck Pinkey

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