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Chuck Pinkey

August 13, 2013

Trust me, I'm as old as I need to be

(Continued)

What about the starving children in Africa and Central America? After watching 30 years of videos for these poor souls, they must be dead by now. If they’re not, shouldn’t we give our money to them rather than to dogs and cats? 

Shipping and handling is my favorite. Buy that dream gift for the Missus for only $19.95, but wait! If you order right now, they will double the order! Just pay separate shipping and handling of $6.95. Can’t you put them both in the same box?

I can’t tell you how many times in the last 35 years someone has come into our shop and asked, “Do you have a bathroom?” One day, I’m gonna answer, “No, we use the bush out back.”

I’m not advocating genocide against stupid people, tantalizing as that might be! I’m just saying “Let’s remove all the warning labels, and let the situation sort itself out.”

CHUCK PINKEY is a retired area businessman. He can be reached at chuck.ontherightside@gmail.com. The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of The Daily Star and its editorial board, but the author thinks they ought to. 

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