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Columns

June 17, 2008

Travels with Uncle Chet: All Bush leaves U.S. is "awful"

COLUMBUS _ ``I have to write an essay on the legacy of the Bush administration,'' the little miscreant said plaintively.

``You could do that on a matchbook cover,'' said Uncle Chet, sitting in the recliner, reading about the Celtics on his laptop.

``A legacy can be negative,'' Alice noted. ``It's everything you leave behind, isn't it?''

``Bush is leaving a mess,'' said Cousin Bruce, who was building a small house by the river. ``War, recession, everyone mad at us.''

``Wait; I want to write this down,'' said the ninth-grader, seizing a pad from the top of the cedar chest. ``Does anyone have a pen?''

``On the desk,'' said Hon.

``You can credit Bush with corrupting justice, and making Democrats out of a few Republican lawyers,'' said Uncle Chet. ``Lawyers know how the Constitution has been trashed.''

``They can just come grab you anymore,'' said Cousin Bruce.

``If you're Arab, sure,'' said Uncle Chet and turned to the ninth-grader. ``If you really want to know what's happened to American justice, Google Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib. They're not Auschwitz, but they're torture centers. You're presumed guilty and treated accordingly. I read about one guy who was beaten so often, his body was `pulpified' when he died.''

``Ohh, that's awful,'' said Alice.

``Awful is part of the Bush legacy,'' said Uncle Chet. ``He's tortured people, tortured the Constitution, and lawyers know it.''

``How do you spell Guantanamo?'' asked the little miscreant.

``How about the economic legacy of our first MBA president?'' I asked

``G-U-A-N-T-A-N-A-M-O,'' said Hon.

``Where is it?'' asked Buddy.

``Cuba,'' said his sister.

``Economically, he's a Hoover,'' said Hon.

``Much worse than Hoover. He's more like Nixon, on steroids. Before Nixon, our dollars were good as gold,'' said Uncle Chet. ``Foreign currencies were backed by the dollar and the dollar was backed by gold, at $35 an ounce. But Nixon had to print more money to pay for another optional war, and slowly it became apparent we didn't have enough gold to pay for that war,'' he spoke slowly as she scribbled.

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