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August 27, 2008

Travels with Uncle Chet: Obama and Biden more like "you"

COLUMBUS _ ``But why Biden?'' asked Alice, who was on the couch peering at a fuzzy pattern on the old portable television.

``Because he's a fighter and he's safe,'' said Uncle Chet, who sat on the rocker. ``He's got warts, but we've seen them before.''

``Warts? That's gross,'' said the little miscreant, our 10th-grader.

``Keep going; you're getting closer,'' Hon called upstairs to me.

``I can't go any farther; I'm in the hall closet,'' I replied.


``I'm in the closet!'' I yelled.

``Stay there,'' said Uncle Chet. ``We can hear voices now.''

``I can see something, too,'' said Alice. ``Isn't that Katie Couric?''

``Hear the music?'' said Hon. ``That's Sousa, isn't it?''

``I hear it,'' said Buddy, who was up past his bedtime to watch a little of the Democratic convention. ``Where's Obama?''

``Wait! Stop, right there!'' said Hon, for I'd found a weak TV signal beaming between camouflage hunting jackets.

``Hip-hip hooray,'' I murmured. I set the antenna down carefully and backed out of the storage closet, but the audience below was howling.

``You've lost it,'' said Hon. ``We can't see a thing.''

``Put it back where it was,'' called Uncle Chet.

I picked up the little antenna and hooked it over the closet pole.

``Better,'' Hon called. ``A little more in that direction.''

``That's the best I can do,'' I announced, following the flat wire downstairs. ``It's hanging upside down in the closet.''

``We can see people, but the sound is bad again,'' she said, vainly turning the fine tuner.

``Why don't we use the big TV?'' asked Buddy.

``That doesn't get anything over the air,'' I said, and squeezed onto the couch.

``And we don't have cable or satellite,'' the second-grader noted.

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