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February 16, 2013

No one is coming to take your guns

I have some very disappointing news for some of the more-virulent foes of sane gun-control legislation.

If you’re what the National Rifle Association loves to call a “law-abiding American citizen,” no one is going to take away your guns.

Not the federal government.

Not the state government.

Not the local government.

Not the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines or Coast Guard.

Not the United Nations.

Not the zombies.

Well, OK, I can’t absolutely guarantee what zombies might do, but they move so slowly, you shouldn’t have much trouble keeping them from your firearms.

Now, all this won’t matter much to the vast majority of responsible gun owners who wear polyester and cotton hats rather than those made out of aluminum foil.

The average gun owner who appreciates a heritage passed down from generation-to-generation, the hunter who does a public service by shooting deer in season that would otherwise cause injury by ending up on a car bumper or windshield, the citizens who balance their desire to defend themselves and their property with a deep respect for gun safety won’t be the least disappointed that no one is coming for their weapons.

As for those who almost seem to be rooting for a shoot-’em-up national insurrection and have been buying into NRA propaganda all these years, I’m really sorry to break the sad news that your guns are safe from confiscation. That must be a terrible blow to everyone who has been fearfully dipping into the egg-and-milk money to purchase expensive weaponry and buy more than enough bullets to conquer North Korea.

The NRA used to be a much more mainstream organization, concentrating on gun-safety classes, police training, hunting and self-defense activities. While it’s still doing all those things, it has morphed into an uncompromising opponent of any and all government efforts to reduce gun violence and has received millions of dollars from major gun manufacturers.

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