“Tuck this column you wrote away in your scrapbook ... it will one day prove to be a source of great embarrassment for you.”
While those words would be very good advice for just about everything I write, in this instance they were online comments written in the aftermath of a column I wrote back in February opining that law-abiding folks were in no danger of the government taking away their guns.
As I mentioned in a subsequent column, that logical-enough assertion engendered more than 200 online opinions, some of which were rather strident in a one-sided debate over whether my parents had been married to each other.
Since that column was about nine months ago, plenty of time to — among other things — create a human being, let’s tally up how many guns the government has confiscated from any American who legally owns one, two ... or for that matter, 200.
We’ll take the square root of Pi, consider the Pythagorean theorem about the square of the length of the hypotenuse being equal to something or other, absolute value making a negative number positive, the price of eggs in Tahiti, whatever else you might want to come up with, and the total will still be the same.
Not even one.
Last year, the National Rifle Association and gun manufacturers revved up their propaganda machines and got folks all farschimmelt and terrified that the re-election of President Barack Obama would mean everybody’s guns were going to be seized by government stormtroopers.
Hoarding got so bad that bullets were in short supply all over the country. I wrote last year that the NRA and arms merchants were playing everybody for suckers. They were darned good at it, too.
On Black Friday in 2012, there were 154,873 calls to the National Instant Criminal Background Check System’s call centers for gun purchases. According to the Huffington Post, the agency reported 17,238,102 background checks this year through Oct. 31.