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December 15, 2012

Celebrate 2012 with the annual 'Sammy Awards'

Before you criticize someone — goes this oft-quoted advice — you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile away from him when you say it … and you’ll have his shoes.

It is in that spirit of wisdom that we announce the eighth annual edition of the coveted Sammy Awards.

The eponymous Sammies recognize not only everyone who knows what “eponymous” means, but those individuals who have come to my attention over the last 12 months almost exclusively through fault of their own.

The “I Thought His Face Looked A Little Familiar” Sammy goes to:

Lowell Turpin, of Clinton, Tenn.

Mr. Turpin, who is 40 years old, 5-foot-8 and 320 pounds, got suspicious of his girlfriend on July 31 when he looked at her Facebook page and found a picture of a handsome, mature man, reported the New York Daily News.

According to the incident report filed by police, Turpin confronted his girlfriend and “angrily demanded to know who the male was.” One thing led to another, and, police said, Turpin ripped her laptop out of her hands, smashed it against a wall and smacked her in the face with a closed fist.

The woman suffered an injured wrist and “busted lip,” and Turpin was arrested on suspicion of domestic assault.

Oh, and the graying gentleman in the photo that so enraged Mr. Turpin was … Mitt Romney.

The “It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time” Sammy goes to:

A curious 24-year-old man in Stockholm, N.Y.

Back in May, the Associated Press reported that state police in St. Lawrence County had arrested 25-year-old Shawn Mossow for wounding his friend in the right leg with a .22 caliber rifle.

Mossow, who was charged with reckless endangerment, had been hounded by his buddy — unnamed by the police — to shoot him.

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