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Columns

December 15, 2012

Celebrate 2012 with the annual 'Sammy Awards'

(Continued)

Why?

Because — authorities said — the shootee (who corroborated Mossow’s story) just wanted to know what it feels like to be shot.

Well, now he knows.

The “Criminal Mastermind” Sammy goes to:

Arthur Brundage, of East Syracuse.

In October, the Huffington Post reported that an unarmed Brundage, 28, went into a bank and demanded $20,000.

The teller, after initially refusing, gave the young man some money, and Brundage left with his ill-gotten gains.

But he came back later. Police found him at the bank’s locked front door, claiming he was shortchanged because the teller didn’t give him the whole 20 grand.

Brundage has been charged with fourth-degree grand larceny.

The “Consumer Reports” Sammy goes to:

Suzanne Besham, of Springfield, Mo.

Ms. Besham, 47, was involved in a business transaction in which she paid $40 for what she had every reason to believe was crack cocaine, according to the Buster website in January.

Upon discovering that her purchase turned out to be sugar, she called the local police and demanded that they arrest her drug dealer and get her a refund.

Police discovered that Ms. Besham had a crack pipe, and she was arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia.

The “You Can Get Into Big Trouble If You Break This Law” Sammy goes to:

Giulio Cesare Fava, mayor of Falciano del Massico, in Italy.

Newscore reported in March that Signor Fava had forbidden any of the town’s residents to die.

“It is forbidden for residents,” the mayor said, “to go beyond the boundaries of early life, to go into the afterlife.”

It seems Falciano del Massico’s 4,000 residents are building a new cemetery, and until Mayor Fava gained the right permits, the townsfolk had to stay above ground or risk breaking the law.

The “Parents Of The Year (Second Runners-Up)” Sammy goes to:

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Big Chuck D'Imperio
Cary Brunswick

Chuck Pinkey
Guest Column

Lisa Miller

Mark Simonson
Rick Brockway

Sam Pollak
William Masters
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    September 18, 2012

  • Republicans feelentitled to allthey can garner

    An entitlement is a legal benefit available from the government to individuals who are within a defined category of recipients, such as needing insurance for unemployment or health services.

    September 4, 2012

  • Romney focuses on self; Obama emphasizes unity

    Mitt Romney criticizes President Obama for saying a person's success is rooted in his community, and is not all his alone. Romney belittles this with his belief in individual initiative. He is better at the put-down than the push-up.

    August 21, 2012

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    August 7, 2012

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    The Boy Scouts of America's "emphatic reaffirmation" of its vow to exclude any and all homosexuals from its hallowed ranks is ill-considered and pathetic, especially in view of its having reviewed the matter for two years.

    July 24, 2012

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