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Columns

November 3, 2012

I'm worrying about what's to become of me after Nov. 6

 

There’s just no getting around it.
Every four years, it’s the same thing. Despite the millions of words written in newspapers and magazines, the countless displays of insight by pundits of every political stripe on television and online, the American voting public speaks as if in one massive, yearning voice.
“What,” they cry plaintively, “does Pollak think about the election?”
It’s a big responsibility, let me tell you. But it is, after all, the weekend before we decide who’s going to be running the country for the next four years, and, let’s face it, that’s kind of important when you come right down to it.
“More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads,” wrote Woody Allen in 1979. “One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”
How very true that is, now more than ever.
You’ll find that in making any political decision, the first thing people think about … after deciding to get up and have breakfast … is themselves. This phenomenon is directly attributable to the notion that they spend most of their time with themselves, except, of course, when they’re cruising the Internet.
But let’s forget about them for a minute, and think about me. After Tuesday’s plebiscite, I shall have one giant, yawning need.
I shall require a life.
No, not somebody else’s.
Mine.
My raison d’etre, as it were. A reason not to spend the long, cold winter sitting around in my pajamas, eating Cheetos, watching “Gilligan’s Island” reruns and pondering whether I’d have rather taken Ginger or Mary Ann to the prom.
I am that most unfortunate hybrid of creatures, surely more to be pitied than censured — a New York Yankees fan and a politics junkie.

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