The Daily Star, Oneonta, NY - otsego county news, delaware county news, oneonta news, oneonta sports

disABILITY

February 22, 2008

disABILITY: Fear of change can be crippling

(Continued)

I realized that wasn't going to happen, so goal-

setting became my obsession, but there was a drastic difference between knowing that path and walking it. I learned so much about goal-setting I could have given an excellent presentation to anyone who might have been wondering about the subject. But I just wasn't figuring out how to actually incorporate the knowledge into my own life.

Where I failed was in doubting myself. And my fear of change didn't help anything either. It wasn't even about failing to set goals; rather it's that my fears blinded me from being able to reach out and grab hold of any one of those goals that dangled out in front of me.

About two years ago, however, I grabbed onto the goal of becoming a doctor. It hasn't meant I've stopped questioning in life. I haven't stopped searching for what else might be out there for me to grab hold of on my way to my professional goal, though. And I certainly grab hold of every experience and new skill, continually building on what I know and what I'm capable of. Never settling on anything as the final product or final answer if it's not 100 percent in line with the big intent I've set for myself in life.

The two biggest hurdles for anyone on the journey, I believe, are, first, living for others or living for recognition. That only tends to tangle one's intent in other people's intents or one's own ego. Secondly, it's failing to act in the face of the questioning. Questioning inevitably bombards anyone willing enough to pursue life, rather than just settling for the status quo.

Some people go to the end of the road pursuing their goals. Others stop at various points along the way. Neither way is wrong, as long as where we stop is where we perceive the endpoint needs to be in our own pursuit of our life purpose and big intent.

Kate Pavlacka, a graduate of the State University College at Oneonta, has been totally blind for 11 years.

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