Published: March 29, 2008 08:31 am         

Teen Talk: Check with Chad: Dreams nothing to worry about

Dear Chad,

I have been going out with the same girl for two years now, and even though we are only 17, I asked her to marry me. She said "yes" with the brightest smile I had ever seen, and although we are so young I knew I had made the right decision in asking her. She means more to me than all the rest of the world and more.

Now, as we near our senior year, something is starting to happen. I'm starting to have dreams about other girls, most of whom are our friends. I still don't regret asking her, and I'm so happy that she said "yes."

Does this make me a bad fiancé? Do I really care about her as much as I think I do?

I feel that I love her more than ever, but if this is true, why am I having these dreams? Please help!

Thanks for listening,

Dreamer

Dear Dreamer,

If you are certain that you care about her the way you seem to, then I would not worry too much about the dreams. The simple fact that it worries you so much is a big clue that you care about your relationship with her.

Sometimes when one dreams about another girl, it means that there is an aspect of that girl that intrigues you in your waking life, or that you wish your girlfriend possessed.

Or, you mentioned you are getting closer to your wedding day; maybe your subconscious is having a hard time getting used to the fact of only being with one girl for the rest of your life, and it is using your dreams as a way of "being with" other girls.

I really wouldn't worry about it too much. Keep in mind that your fiancee makes you happy, and someday you will be able to show the rest of the world that by sharing your love forever. I hope I have helped make you feel better.

Sincerely,

Chad

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Dear Chad,

I have had this friend for the last three years or so, and I care about her more than anything.

We get along so well, and she makes me feel so special all the time. I really think I'm starting to care about her more than a friend.

On the other hand, I'm going out with another girl at this time. I never really felt a connection to her, and she treats me kind of like a dog "" and not one with good owners.

I was thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend to go out with my friend. What do you think?

Sincerely,

Torn in Two

Dear Torn in Two,

Sit down and really think about how you feel about both girls, and if you can't, just read what you wrote me and the answer to your question will be there. You told me that your friend makes you feel special, and that you care about her; your girlfriend on the other hand treats you not so well. If I were you I'd break up with your current girlfriend in the nicest way possible "" tell her you just aren't as compatible as you previously thought. If you aren't happy in a relationship, you should either try to mend what is bothering you, or get out of it with as little pain as possible to both members (this depends on if you actually want to be in the relationship to begin with). Do what makes you the most happy.

Best of Luck,

Chad

P.S. I would wait a while after you break up with the girl before you go out with your friend. It would look better to both of them if you did this.

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Dear Chad,

I would like to thank you for the advice you gave to me in your last column. I talked to my friend and it turns out not only is he gay as well, but he has the same feelings for me as I do him. We have been going out for the last few weeks, and couldn't be happier.

Unfortunately we have another problem: We don't know how to tell our parents that we are together. Can you help us?

Thanks again,

Purple and Blue

Dear Purple and Blue,

That's great! I'm glad to hear that you guys are happy together, and it's always good to hear that my advice helps people. Both of you have already proven that you can face the great unknown, and I have no doubt that you both will be able to make it past this next obstacle. Purple, you told me in your last e-mail that you were like part of Blue's family and that Blue was like a part of your family. Family will love you no matter what "" that isn't to say that they won't be angry or afraid for a while, but eventually they will come to accept things for the way they are.

I would sit down with all of your parents together and let them know how things are between the two of you.

Again, take your time with this; it doesn't have to be done right this second. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Chad

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Chad Shipman is a junior at Unadilla Valley High School. You can send your questions to Chad by e-mail at chad’shipman21@yahoo.com, or by mail to Check with Chad, c/o The Daily Star, P.O. Box 250, Oneonta, NY 13820.