Stay-at-home moms: Benefits outweigh sacrifices, local mothers say

By Rebecca Sickler Schultz
Contributing Writer

May 12, 2008 07:55 am

Over the past century the common role of motherhood has seen many changes. With the rise in the cost of living many families today need dual incomes in order to make ends meet.

However, with some sacrifices and lifestyle adjustments, many families are finding it possible for mom to be able to stay at home with the children.

Deciding to stay home with children and/or jump off of the corporate ladder is a personal decision that requires making some sacrifices.

After all, with only one income, individuals may need to find ways to make their dollar go a bit farther.

Some of the ways that families are able to cut corners is to examine their monthly/annual budget.

Rather than buying pizza at a pizza parlor, dining out or watching a movie on a big screen. One can opt to make dinner from scratch and have a "movie night" in.

According to Bridget Streeter of Maryland, the decision for her to be a stay-at-home mother was something that she and her husband discussed before having children.

"I feel like being at home with Isabelle for 10 years and Olivia for almost three years is a privilege," Streeter said.

"A child's early years are so formative, and I want to be with my children for all of the day-to-day things," she added. "I think that with me being at home, our home environment is calmer and less stressful, since I do not have to rush out of the door to an outside job."

Streeter also stated that being home with her children allows her to drive her oldest daughter to and from school, as well as attend after-school activities with her.

In order to compensate for having only one income, Streeter and her husband purchased a house with a rental apartment when planning for Bridget to be home with the children. Having the rental income is a great way to make ends meet.

"There are some financial sacrifices that we have had to make since we only have one income," Streeter said. "We don't go out to eat a great deal or buy new cars and really try to make our money stretch."

In agreement with Streeter is Laura Downie of Oneonta, mother of three, ranging in age from two months to 31/2 years old.

"My husband and I made the decision that I would stay home with our children once they were born," Downie said. "Financially, we have to plan a budget each year," said Downie, who, like Streeter, said she and her family rarely go out to dinner and do not buy new vehicles.

"It is a huge advantage having me home with our children in the fact that they have less exposure to flu bugs and germs (at day care)," she said.

Lucy Bayly of Hamden is a stay-at-home mother of a 2- and almost-4-year-old who decided to leave her career and former lifestyle in New York City after the birth of her second child. "My husband and I were living in Manhattan with our oldest son when we found out that we would be having another child," Bayly said.

"After deciding that a rental, large enough for four in Manhattan, was too expensive we decided to reside in our summer home on a full-time basis," she said. "Nothing of my former lifestyle still exists _ everything is different.

"Our entire family dynamics changed when I decided to stay home with the children," she added. "We went from a family of three and two incomes to a family of four living on one income. We have had to tighten our purse strings. However, we do not have to pay day care to take care of the children and I am able to watch and see my children reach developmental milestones each day."

While there are many financial adjustments that families may have to make when having mom stay at home with the kids, the rewards are tremendous. There is nothing like watching your child smile for the first time, say his/her first words or take that first step.

One of the hardest things that stay-at-home moms may face is finding some "me" time, after all, there is not an on-the-job time clock when it comes to motherhood _ it is a 24-hour-a-day full-time job. One way that many stay-at-home moms find time for themselves is to schedule play dates with friends who have children as well. By doing so, stay-at-home mothers are able to run errands or simply relax while knowing that their children are being well cared for.

The choice for Streeter, Downie and Bayly to stay at home with their children is a decision that they do not regret _ stating that the positives far outweigh the negative.

"The unpredictability of what will happen each day is one of the best parts of being a stay-at-home mom" Bayly said. "Today, for example, I built sand castles all morning."

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