Having a daughter can change the course of a man's life. Certainly becoming a father changes things altogether, but from the moment a baby girl enters his life, the outlook of a dad's world is altered in unexpected ways. A son is a mirroring and, like it or not, a comparison that a man can immediately relate experiences, while a daughter is a unique creation under his care.
Throughout history, the birth of a daughter was often treated differently than a son. Contrary to many stereotypes of baby boys being preferred, many cultures revered the birth of a girl.
Father's Day is a good time to teach young children about what their father does and the important role he plays in the family. Especially for young children, mothers are often a child's focal point, and Father's Day can be a beginning point of a lifetime of appreciation and admiration.
Fathering 4-year-old Emily is a proud role for Oneonta dad Brad Zeh, who also has a younger son. Zeh and his wife are both educators. As a 4-year-old's father, Zeh talked about his concerns in this coming year as Emily moves to a new school to attend kindergarten. She will need to get use to a different building and teacher, and she will also need to make new friends. This transition will be hard for him as a father, he said, and Zeh hopes it will all go very well for Emily.
The media plays a huge role in parental worries, and Zeh said that when one hears or reads about a lot of unpleasant things relating to children that go on, one will worry. Zeh said he and his wife hope that they are raising their children to make wise choices, be responsible, be accountable for what they do and keep talking with them.
Experiences of fathering a teen stand out in many people's minds as the difficult years _ dominated by driving and dating. A natural and healthy separation of dependence occurs that can be uncomfortable for father and daughter both. Clothing, curfews, scholastics, friends, phones and sports can all be part of a mix that can have conflicts. Those conflict points are also ways to allow the relationship to mature.
A father's inability to protect his daughter is pronounced in the teen years, but it is the time when daughters need a tremendous amount of fatherly support.
Oneonta resident and educator Mike Hamilton is a father of three girls and is clearly proud of all three, whose ages range from 15 to 22. Hamilton emphasized how different each of his girls is and that being a father of daughters is most likely not much different from being the father of sons.
"My girls will each make the right choices," Hamilton stated with confidence. He said that one of the worries he has is: "Did they get what they needed from me?"
Hamilton's daughters will come to him for advice occasionally, and in varying degrees but typically they will talk to him more about school, money issues and future plans, he said.
As with many parents, there is always a hope that his children will come to him for advice and conversation more often. An important focus for Hamilton, he said, is to work at keeping conversations going, to make it a priority.
The father who prompted Father's Day to be a nationally recognized day around 1909 was a man who raised a large family singlehandedly in a remote area after his wife died in childbirth. He, like many fathers, was willing to do whatever it took to set an example and do well.
The bond of a father with an adult daughter reflects the test of time on relationships and offers opportunities for change. Seeing eye-to-eye, a shift of dependence and the importance of sharing life's wisdom can be appreciated. Walter Gladstone of Andes has a great deal of wisdom that has come from a life full of experiences.
Gladstone's rich stories and his energetic outlook have all been shaped by his role as father, raising a son and two daughters on a dairy farm in Andes alongside his wife.
Of the many pieces of advice that Gladstone has heard over the years about raising children, one sentence that he has remembered with absolute clarity is: "When a child is ready to talk, be ready to listen."
The wise words are suitable for a father with children who are just learning to talk and those who have gray hair and have adult children of their own. Gladstone said he got lucky with his children, he said, noting that they all hold their heads high and contribute to the communities they in which they live.
As someone with the ability to accept that everyone makes mistakes, Gladstone explained that the person who has never made a mistake is a person who has never done anything. Gladstone has done plenty, he said, and continues to do so, still setting an example for his son and daughters, grandchildren and anyone who comes in contact with him.
Those dads all had a recurring theme of communication, regardless of whether they are father of an infant, toddler, teen or middle-aged woman. Each emphasized that keeping a line of talk open and available bridges the generations between fathers and daughters, no matter their ages.
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