There are some questions that even the best tour guide can't answer. For Andrew Tracy, a Howe Caverns tour guide, that question would be, "How many marshmallows can you fit in the cave?"
On its surface, the answer should be a simple math problem; figure out the area of the cavern, measure your marshmallow, then divide. But like most things involving Howe Cavern, the issue is complicated by the nature of caves themselves. They are full of cracks, crevices and mysterious passages. For every nook you explore, there is a cranny that you can't reach. And that is what makes them so addictive, if hard to measure.
Here's what we do know: In 1842, farmer Lester Howe noticed that his cows liked to hang out in a specific part of the pasture when temperatures climbed into the 80s. Howe crawled around that spot and discovered the entrance to the natural wonder that would later bear his name.
Given that old Lester was the sort of guy who would happily fling himself into a hole in the ground with nothing but a stout rope to guide him back, it comes as little surprise that he had the chutzpah to make his find into a money-maker.
By 1845, Howe was running eight-hour, 50-cent tours that required visitors to crawl and climb through mud and cold water in near darkness. He did, however, bring Roman candles to set off in the largest grottos.
Howe, through what's euphemistically termed "various financial reversals," lost ownership of the property, and the attraction was closed to the public.
But not for long. In 1929, the cave reopened, this time with walkways, electric lights and a new entrance. Gone was crawling through cold mud to get to the start of the tour. Now all it takes is a 30-second elevator ride.
What you see when you descend 125 feet is truly amazing. Rocks, carved by millennia of water, look like melted wax. All you can hear is the burble of the River Styx. Best of all, for those who visit during the dog days of summer, 52-degree air cools your skin.
Plus, you get a tour guide like Tracy, who is full of information about the science of caves and stories about their lore, including tour guides who used to convince their guests to flip pennies into the river, which they'd then scoop up at the end of the day to buy fudge in the gift shop. This is now forbidden, but there are pennies that have become cemented to the riverbed by the same mineral-rich water that hollowed out the cave itself.
Essentially, the caverns act like a giant storm drain for the hill above. Over eons, the running water has carved passages through the rock. Howe's cave is still alive; that is, it is still changing at the rate of 1 cubic centimeter _ about the size of an ice cube _ per century.
The water level of the river changes, depending on the amount of rain that has fallen. One of the highlights of the tour is the tour-guide-powered gondola ride on the Lake of Venus. At its end, if you choose, you'll have a chance to experience the cave in its natural glory: pitch black.
There's something about Howe Cavern that catches the human imagination. The cave has been used as a film set a few times, once in 1973's musical adaptation of "Tom Sawyer" and in 1995 "Niagaravation," a little known sci-fi spoof. The obscure '80s heavy metal band Savatage filmed its video for "Hall of the Mountain King" in the cave. (If you are curious and enjoy cheesy videos, you can still find it on YouTube.)
There's also something that encourages loyalty. Tracy is a third-generation tour guide who is working his fifth season.
General Manager Bob Holt first worked at Howe Cavern from 1971 to 1999. He's been back for a little over a year, for good this time, he says. "It's the first job I've ever had," he says, "and will be the last job I've had."
It's the "love of the cave" that keeps him coming back. "I always find different things. The cave will never change. Not in our lifetimes."
While the cave itself won't change, what has changed is all of the stuff around it. The property now boasts a playground/picnic area, gemstone mining and geode cutting, a motel, gift shop and snack bar. If you're feeling especially kicky, you can get married in the cave, like 500 other couples have.
For the true cave lover, there are after-hours lantern tours and an adventure tour, which may be the only way you can still experience the cavern like they did in Howe's day. You'll crawl through a tight, muddy passage (coveralls and other gear is provided) and see the Great Rotunda, which can only be accessed on this special tour. Roman candles are not included, however.
What does the future hold? During the next 20 years, Holt envisions reconnecting all of the parts of the cavern that were made inaccessible by nearby rock quarrying. Someday, Holt would like to see rock-climbing walls and zip lines.
No matter how much changes, the cave itself will remain the same as it ever was, which is haunting, beautiful and unforgettable. And, most likely, marshmallow-free.
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