Published: August 16, 2008 04:15 am         

Teen Talk: Check with Chad: You can't be afraid of change

Dear Chad,

Have you ever had the feeling that the universe itself is pulling you in half? Like the entire cosmos itself has complete control over you, and that you have no control over your own fate?

I've been with a girl for the past two years, and things have always been less than great.

Her family hates me, we never get to see each other, and we have really nothing in common. With everything that we have been through, I have been more than in love with her.

Now as we get close to our senior year, time itself is pulling us apart. She is off to college, as I am going to another country for possible citizenship.

I have spent so many years with this girl, and experienced so much that I don't think I can handle being without her.

Thanks for any advice,

Chained to Time

Dear Chained to Time,

It sounds to me as if you are afraid of change.

You feel very strongly about your relationship with your girlfriend, and you are afraid to let her go.

You have to make the best decision that you can come up with. I understand that it is hard to say goodbye, but it is possible that this move will turn out to be best for you both.

And as for not having control of your fate, the truth is that in some ways we don't have control of our fate; the only thing we can do is decide what to do when things change around us. That is what divides us, and that is what keeps us going.

Just believe in yourself. Some day you will look back at all this and know that you made a difference in the world.

Best of luck,

Chad

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Dear Chad,

I have a friend who writes advice columns for the school newspaper.

Although he has his e-mail address in his column as well as a drop box for questions, no one ever writes to him.

As a result of this, he must come up with his own questions and answers for every issue of the school paper. He is consistently running out of questions to ask himself, and so he must ask his friends to give him something to give advice on. I'm never quite sure on what to say to him.

What would you do if you needed more people asking for advice?

Thanks,

Boatguy

Dear Boatguy,

I would tell him to create a person to give advice to, and in that column have him slip in his e-mail address again so that people see it in bold print (for instance, my e-mail is Chad’Shipman21@yahoo.com). Tell your friend to sneak in the address by using it as an example for the person he is giving advice to; this way it will seem as if he isn't using the column to promote his column at all.

Then tell your friend to beg for people to send him things to respond to; again do this discreetly using an example (for instance, I would say something like "please send me some questions to reply to, my job is getting very difficult to do. Even if you just need someone to vent off to, please e-mail me. I'm sure that I can try to make you feel better, or I could just listen. Anything I can write about will do.")

Then, end the column off as if he normally would, to make it seem again that he is just giving some other guy advice.

Best of luck,

Chad

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Chad Shipman will be a senior at Unadilla Valley High School this fall. You can send your questions to Chad by e-mail at chad’shipman21@yahoo.com, or by mail to Check with Chad, c/o The Daily Star, P.O. Box 250, Oneonta, NY 13820.