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February 8, 2014

As Time Goes By: Don't confuse signs of 'magnesia' with senior moments


You must remember that “senior moments” are different from magnesia. Senior moments are those little pauses in life when you forget the name of your favorite granddaughter or the name of your favorite movie star. It’s only for a few moments but it is embarrassing.

Magnesia is when you look at your granddaughter and ask, “Who are you?”

This could be avoided if those empty holes in your brain were filled with bologna or cooked ham with sliced Swiss cheese. Then when you hit one of those magnesia moments you could say “Smell that? Make my bread Jewish rye with a touch of mayo.”

I know I got magnesia because my wife is always asking me, “Are you ready?” and I respond “What for?” She then responds (insert function here) and says that she told me weeks ago and I was enthusiastic about going, so, “Get dressed now!”

I get excited about watching “Hogan’s Heroes” on TV, and there was probably an overlap between the show and my wife’s question about going out. I said yes to Schultz, while not realizing that my wife heard a “Yes” to her, thinking it was to a symposium on watching earthworms breed.

My memory is still good. I can remember back to days when commercials were not longer than the shows.

We went out to eat last night at a restaurant and the food was magnificent. I would like to go back and eat there again but I can’t remember the name. I think it was “Spaghetti.”

That’s magnesia.

Henry Geerken is a three-time NYSUT award-winner writing humorous articles addressing retiree and senior citizen concerns. Geerken also writes for Sail-World, World Cruising Newsletter, regarding his many humorous sailing episodes through the years. He can be reached by email at ‘Senior Scene’ columns can be found at

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