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Lifestyles

September 21, 2013

As Time Goes By: A shocking story about defibrillator replacement

(Continued)

I have to say something about the bed. It was exactly like one I had operated before. It was the “BIG BOY” model and could do everything but wash dishes.

This thing was so fancy, it even had fenders over the wheels. I was in for a good time.

I think all hospital mattresses are made by the same factory. They feel great for the first hour and after that it is an agonizing trip into learning anatomy as you sink into positions that are unknown in your bed back home. Suddenly you discover new aches and pains you never experienced before.

My bed had an answer for this — since it was designed for patients with long stay expectations, it would constantly change positions as you were in it.

You set up your desired bed shape and then just go to sleep. As I slept, the bed would slowly change shape, taking pressure off one part of your body and putting it on another. This way you were not supposed to get bed sores.

The only thing is that the bed groaned and moaned as it changed shape. It did this very slowly so it was difficult to sense any movement. It could take you to flat-out to a U shape and you wouldn’t know it happened until you found yourself talking to your navel.

Around this time my roommate shouted “WATCH OUT FOR THE PROPELLOR!” I almost had a heart attack. Thank heavens for the defibrillator.

As time goes by, I can hardly wait for my next adventure in living.

Henry Geerken is a three-time NYSUT award-winner writing humorous articles addressing retiree and senior citizen concerns. Geerken also writes for Sail-World, World Cruising Newsletter, regarding his many humorous sailing episodes through the years. He can be reached by email at hgeerken@stny.rr.com. ‘Senior Scene’ columns can be found at www.thedailystar.com/seniorscene.

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