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Lifestyles

January 5, 2013

Bad things can happen when trends are no longer trendy

(Continued)

It made getting birthday party gifts a snap. Plus, the Diva would save up her allowance to get some new scent every few weeks. Sure, her room smelled like synthetic fruit and spices but that was a small price to pay to fit in.

Apparently, hand sanitizer’s day in the sun is over. I say this only because three of them have been sitting on the table near our back door for at least six months. This is the table where the kids’ backpacks live and where they disgorge their contents on a regular basis. I feel sad for these abandoned germ killers but not sad enough to move them.

Also on that table is my grocery list and a stack of cookbooks. Hang on to both of those pieces of information for a second.

One morning before lunch, I grabbed a handful of trail mix on my way to the back door to snag the grocery list. I was starving but needed to figure out what we needed from the grocery store before I could make lunch. I wish this was unusual.

The list was in my right hand; the trail mix in my left. When I put the list on the dining room table to finish it, I transferred the tasty nuts and berries to my right hand, then tossed them into my mouth. As you do.

At first, nothing seemed amiss. My husband started to tell me something... but I stopped listening when my tongue felt weird.

Why do I smell raspberries? I thought. We don’t have any in the house — and haven’t since, like, June. I this what rotting raspberries taste like?

I looked at my right hand, which had what looked like a smear of raspberry juice and pulp on it. 

But it smells like raspberry gum, I thought, not like actual food.

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