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August 25, 2012

As Time Goes By: What's that you say? You have a deal for me? Huh?

The Daily Star —  

I’m having difficulty. At 75, I think that my hearing loss has become acute. (If you think my hearing is acute, you should   see the rest of me.) Around my house, I feel things are conspiring to “get” me.
It reminds me of that movie, “Gaslight.” If you recall, in that movie, the wife (Bergman) was accused of hearing “things in   the attic.” My attic has been cleared out for many years now so that’s not what is bothering me.
My concern was all about the ear cleaning my mother did when I was a kid. She told me that if I wasn’t vigilant about keeping   my ears clean, I would end up being stone deaf before I was 30.
With a little bit of luck, my “stone deaf ears” would be Marcellus Shale and I could open a gas station.
My problem about going deaf is different. I don’t have the typical problem of having to repeat myself. People claim to talk   with me but I don’t remember it, don’t remember it.
Perhaps I have a stuffed-up brain that could only be cleared out by drinking six gallons of “herbal” tea each day. Couple   this with 80mg of Lasix that I take each day and we could start to talk about serious flooding.
I accuse my wife, Diane, of poor enunciation but she claims I still wouldn’t hear her. (Selective hearing has saved my neck   many times in the past.)
I found out over a short period of time that I was asking people to repeat what they were saying to me. “Could you repeat   that?” and “What?” were a part of my everyday conversation. I was getting as predictable as people saying “at this point in   time.” (Why not just cut to the chase and say, “NOW!”)

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