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Lifestyles

September 7, 2013

Looking Back: True friendship often means putting others ahead of yourself

Most folks like to have a lot of friends. That’s nice. But then there are folks that seem to be lonely or just always by themselves. Perhaps they chose to be that way or maybe just don’t know how to be a good friend or know how to reach out to befriend someone.

I wondered: Was I one of these people? Which one?

Looking back, I can remember many friends during my lifetime. Many are not there anymore due to moving around, death or the friendship just fizzled out.

A long time ago, I decided to analyze myself and be a person that someone would want to befriend. It’s so comforting to know that you usually are liked. (I say “usually” for there are always exceptions to anything.) What really did I need to do? Good question.

It could be a question, perhaps, of personality. That seems to take a lifetime with changes to improve to the best of a person’s ability. I’ve tried to do just that.

Some years ago I learned three categories: Introvert, extrovert and ambivert. I assumed these dealt always with being outgoing and aggressive, or just wishy-washy, having a quiet “don’t care” or “not interested” attitude. I never really thought to zero in on the real definition, psychologically speaking.

All this was extremely interesting, for my thinking never gave a quiet or shy person much credence. Of course, that’s a choice, but to term it as “introvertism” didn’t seem correct.

The “ambivert” person is ideal: “A personality trait including both being extrovert and introvert in balanced qualities.”

I guess it’s all a matter of where your interest lies: Extremely interested in others (to the exclusion of self) or interested only in your own thoughts or feelings. (Those are the two extremes.)

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