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April 5, 2014

As Time Goes By: There's lint in my belly button, and other observations

It’s a great day in the South — the sun is shining and the temperature is 75 degrees and I find myself in a reflective mood.

I remember reading in the Bible a statement to the effect that someday in my life there will come a time when others will clothe me. I laughed at that time with the mental picture that I had conjured up.

Well, that day has come. I’ve regressed to a point where my wife, Diane, has to dress me else I will cause a social gaff that might reflect on the family name.

So here I am being dressed by family, fulfilling a Bible verse heard long ago. I don’t laugh now, but bless those that help me.

In getting dressed by others gives you time to reflect about thing not thought of since I was an infant. Lo and behold, I looked down and saw that I had a build-up of belly button lint. Where did this come from? I shower every day. Moss does not grow on me, but lint loves me.

In my idle time, I have made the following observations. If you have four pair of socks (eight socks) and put them into the washer you will on occasion find that only seven socks will come out. Search as you might you will not alter the will-of-the-washer – the sock is gone.

(Aside — there have been a few times when I heard ripping and munching noises but could not identify any specific point of origin.) I have come to observe that this will happen with a Kenmore washer as well as a Bendix or an L.G.

Take those seven socks and put them into the dryer. After the appropriate time a buzzer will go off and you will hear a loud “ding! (The “ding” is the important thing to remember.) Upon opening the dryer you will only retrieve six socks (three pair) Where did one sock go?

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