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December 14, 2013

As Time Goes By: How to find out if you're naughty or nice


You know you have been naughty when you wake up and find your false teeth super-glued to your backside.

Being naughty is not filling up the gas tank when you are driving on empty.

There are those who will claim that they were confused about being naughty or nice and will request exemption from getting a lump of coal in their Christmas stocking. (They will claim that not knowing is a legal excuse, because it works with politicians.)

If you are being naughty, you must understand that you are running outside the boundary of the “music of the spheres.” Being in this disharmony state will result in a multitude of mishaps including but not limited to losing one sock of your favorite socks in the laundry or dryer.

Another indicator is that you will start dropping things like forks and knives and maybe a hair dryer or an electric toothbrush. (If you are taking a bath, it would be wise not to bring anything electric into the tub with you. If you do, you may have a shocking experience.)

How do you get into the “nice all the time” groove?

I have it on good authority that being nice starts with a smile. When you wake up, think of something funny and hold that thought all day.

Another thing is to get dressed up in your Sunday clothes even if it isn’t Sunday because as they sing in “Hello, Dolly,” there is “no blue Monday when you are in your Sunday clothes.” (Don’t forget to get your picture took.)

As time goes by, don’t think of yourself, but think what you could do for others. It’s a nice feeling.

Being in harmony with life around you will guarantee so much fun you will find it difficult to believe.

Being nice guarantees no coal in your stocking.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Henry Geerken is a three-time NYSUT award-winner writing humorous articles addressing retiree and senior citizen concerns. Geerken also writes for Sail-World, World Cruising Newsletter, regarding his many humorous sailing episodes through the years. He can be reached by email at ‘Senior Scene’ columns can be found at




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