We've all heard the stories of men treating women like sex objects, right?
Well, ladies, you could be right, but what accusations would come about if we turned the tables? The term "success object" is seldom used in public, let alone casual conversation, for obvious reasons: no one wants to admit that their commitment to someone harbors deeply on their ability to succeed financially (or in the bedroom, for that matter.)
However, a "success object" is by no means limited to relationships. When it comes to the understanding one's parents have with their child, success is always buried deep in the manifolds of approval, or in some cases, a lack thereof.
Parents who are reading this will always claim that the love they have for their children will never depend on how successful they are, but let's take a step back and think of this in drawn-out segments.
When raising a child, everyone prefers to have less stress, as opposed to the obvious alternative. When this child enters teenhood, he's bound to make decisions that could ultimately determine his rate of success.
Maybe the teen is caught with drugs, and then not accepted to the college of her choice because of her criminal record. Perhaps another chose to spend an entire night studying instead of hanging out and therefore bumps his grade point average up a few points. Either way, the child's success rate is going to change.
I'm not going to pretend that parents have some sort of unconditional love for their children. I'm sure deep down they do, but I have seen countless parents who have expressed nothing but anguish and annoyance toward their offspring. Do you think they would have reacted this way if their child had flown through school with flying colors, and never even had a scratch on her criminal record? I don't like to assume, but we can all agree that the more of a hassle something turns out to be, the less we turn out to like it.
In this way, teenagers can become success objects for their parents.
To gain the approval and devotion that most teens crave from their parents, they have to achieve a certain amount of success. Now, the real question is: Is objectifying teens by success causing de-stress or distress?
The answer is both. While parents enjoy the benefits of having successful children, teens are stuck in a very different boat where in some cases their entire life is devoted to becoming as successful as possible in adolescence.
It's ironic, though, because as parents watch their children become more successful, in some cases a phenomena occurs where they simply give up on objectifying. Teens will develop an upward trend where after a while, reward doesn't exist. Success becomes the average as the parents of this extraordinary child look toward punishment only as the way to raise their child.
This is tough to look into, because psychologically we can't really say what kind of effect this will have on the child. We do have a few scenarios though. The most preferable would be that the teen develops into the type of person who rarely makes mistakes.
Don't get excited, though. There is a significant chance that this method will backfire tremendously. Even though teens are referred to as young adults, they're still children and still desire the attention of their parents. When parents stop rewarding, teens often take it as a sign of being ignored. They start to realize that the only time they really get attention is when they're punished, so they start to cause a slip here and there, although they almost always won't intend to do it. Some refer to this as a "cry for help" but that makes it sound so desperate. Desperate is far from the lifestyle these fall into.
Teens are success objects to some parents. But what about the kids whose parents really hold no weight on whether they succeed or not? Some teens succeed without the influence of their parents, while others are said to have failed because their parents didn't care enough. Is this a reverse situation where some teens only gain attention from being rewarded and therefore strive for success? I honestly couldn't tell you.
Every parent is different, and every child is different. No child will ever turn out to be exactly as his parent intends. For this reason, it's absolutely natural for parents to try to influence the lives of their children in the way that pleases them most. Whether that is with love, pressure, hate, etc. _ each child is the object of someone's success.
Dan Clark, a 2010 graduate of Afton Central School, is a rising sophomore at the State University at Albany. 'Teen Talk' columns can be found at www.thedailystar.com/teentalk.
We've all heard the stories of men treating women like sex objects, right?
Celebrating Passover away from home: Local groups offer students opportunities
"You shall keep this as a rule for you and your children for all time. When you shall enter the land which the LORD will give you as he promised, you shall observe this rite. Then, when your children ask you, 'What is the meaning of this rite?' you shall say, 'It is the LORD's Passover, for he passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt when he struck the Egyptians but spared our houses.' " --Exodus 12:24-27.Continued ...
The history of Passover
According to the book of Exodus, the Jews had lived in oppression in Egypt for 430 years.Continued ...
DIY car care: Mechanic offers tips on vehicle maintenance
Americans, especially those in rural or suburban areas, depend upon their automobiles.Continued ...
Horses that heal
Along with working, competition and transportation, as well as being coveted companion animals for pleasure riding, horses add the magic of healing to their many talents.Continued ...
We are surrounded by a glut of tempting foods. It can be found in grocery stores, convenience stores, even the local gas station. However, if we are not paying attention, we can plunge into the trap of highly processed food, and health problems.Continued ...
- Celebrating Passover away from home: Local groups offer students opportunities
- Around The Arts
Volunteers are the SWAT of the arts world
When you work at an arts organization, particularly a nonprofit, employees often wear many hats -- accomplishing the duties that appear in the traditional job description, and then some. It happens everywhere. It's a running joke among people who work at nonprofits. There is too much to do, and not enough people to do it. That's when you call in the back up -- SWAT if you will.Continued ...
Let creativity flow with unstructured art projects
As I sit here writing this, the holiday glow is still going strong (my column deadline is two weeks before the publication date), and I've been spending a great deal of time not only with my daughter, but her stuff. We're incredibly lucky to have a loving network of family and friends that spoil her, so I've been merging her new goodies with her old.Continued ...
Opportunities abound for career in the arts
I was recently asked to speak at a local high school about my career path and how I came to work in the arts. It was interesting speaking with these seniors, and discussing their hopes for life after high school.Continued ...
The art of the appraisal explained by one who knows
So often in this column my co-writer, Brittany, and I talk about how art is everywhere and can be appreciated by all. Perhaps because of my passion for everyday art, there is one part of the art world I just cannot grasp -- art appraisal. How can you put a value on something so seemingly subjective? So, I set out to learn more about this industry.Continued ...
Flash mobs more theatrical production than dance
Most people are familiar with the term "flash mob." It's associated with groups of people congregating briefly to the surprise of the surrounding public, and often incorporates a choreographed dance. You've probably been witness to one, or you've probably seen one online, as they are extensively documented -- there are more than 10,000 results on YouTube if you search for flash mobs.Continued ...
- Volunteers are the SWAT of the arts world
- Music Beat
Complete education involves classroom, real-world learning
There is new, long overdue attention being paid in our institutions of higher education to the use of directed practical experience as an essential partner to the classroom lecture.Continued ...
- Music Industry tips
Copyright royalties can make you smile
A few years ago, I wrote an article on the skill and dedication necessary to become a songwriter.Continued ...
- Music Industry Tips
Build a team to build a career
People love music because music is that magical means of communication that never fails. The music industry is going through some rough times, but it is not going to die because music is a basic, central need in everyone's life.Continued ...
- Complete education involves classroom, real-world learning
- Parenting Imperfect
I want to visit the world of 'The Pioneer Woman'
It is a double-edged sword, this whole having kids old enough to leave home alone for short periods of time thing.Continued ...
It is in February when the breaking point is reached
If I could edit the calendar, the two months I'd do away with are August and February.Continued ...
Ibuprofen saved the vacation
Right after New Year's Day, we four hearty souls flew to Orlando to visit my mother, stepfather and aunt.Continued ...
The write stuff is often hard to find in my household
Now that the kids are older and I sleep well most nights, my biggest parenting challenge is boundaries. The challenge is that I feel like I should have them and the small people refuse to acknowledge such a thing could exist.Continued ...
Of kids, phone calls and toilet paper
We have reached that golden age when both kids are responsible enough to be trusted alone for short periods of time.Continued ...
- I want to visit the world of 'The Pioneer Woman'
- Senior scene
Social Security: If you give a man a computer mouse, see what happens
Happy National Poetry Month. Now, if you'll have a look-see, read our poem inspired by Laura Numeroff's "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie":Continued ...
As Time Goes By: There's lint in my belly button, and other observations
Itâ€™s a great day in the South â€" the sun is shining and the temperature is 75 degrees and I find myself in a reflective mood.Continued ...
From the Office: Time is now to plan for the aging tsunami
It's coming. Maybe not this year, but starting in 2016, the number of older adults across the our country will begin to grow. At first it will only be a small increase, but as the baby boomers move up in age, the wave of individuals coming into the "senior" age group will become the largest in the census categories.Continued ...
Looking Back: Snowy winter wonderland could be fun or a pain
Snow, snow, go away … come again another day?? Please, perhaps next year? But there is always the positive side to things -- or so it seems.Continued ...
Social Security: 2014 is a year of changes at Social Security Administration
I am excited to share this article, written by a co-worker, about some very important changes happening this year at Social Security. I hope everyone will take a few minutes to read what's in store.Continued ...
- Social Security: If you give a man a computer mouse, see what happens
- Tech, GP
Thankful hard-disk shortage is about over, and counting my blessings
Well, I'm almost ready to let out a cheer.Continued ...
Businesses need backups for their computer people, systems
In the interest of full disclosure, I want to let you know that I have taken a new position, professionally. I recently joined Eastman Associates, a local general contractor, to do its IT work, as well as taking care of some other functions of the business.Continued ...
Windows 8 seems to be made for the good of Microsoft, not the user
By Bruce Endries The software company everybody loves to hate, Microsoft, recently released what it calls a "consumer preview" of their next operating system, Windows 8.Continued ...
The Granite State got it right on software purchases
Believe it or not, I have found a bright spot in the political landscape, amid all the vitriolic partisan fighting.Continued ...
Visit a construction site and you'll probably find an iPad
It was just about two years ago now, that the iPad came out, and I wrote a column about it. At that time, I went out on a limb and said that thought it was a product which would fill certain niches very well, but that it wasn't very likely to fill in for what is normally considered a computer.Continued ...
- Thankful hard-disk shortage is about over, and counting my blessings
- Teen Talk
Weekend Reviews: 'The Virgin Suicides' shows angst, longing we all have
When I was younger, I remember idolizing teenage girls in every way possible.Continued ...
Teenhood Today: Confidence in yourself must come from within
I'm not sure most of you know this, but I'm supposed to be writing about teen issues.Continued ...
A Word of Advice: A case for optimism
Take a moment, young teenager, and scroll down your Facebook page, and keep a tally of how many positive posts you see compared to the number of negative ones.Continued ...
On the Go: Science classes weren't wasted
Most science classes begin the same way. The teacher explains why his class is fabulous. He mentions labs and the Regents and any notion of joy or discovery vanishes.Continued ...
Weekend Reviews: Folk meets Greek myth flawlessly in 'Hadestown'
"Hadestown" started as a folk opera created by Anaïs Mitchell that was performed live in Barre, Vt., and later all across New England.Continued ...
- Weekend Reviews: 'The Virgin Suicides' shows angst, longing we all have