Same-sex couples here say: Change N.Y.'s marriage law

By Denise Richardson
Staff Writer

June 19, 2009 12:00 am

Tara Campoli and Elayne Mosher fell in love after meeting as college students in Oneonta, where they live and work.

The 27-year-old women wanted to marry. But same-sex marriages aren't legal in New York, though the state does recognize marriages conducted in other states.

Spurred by love for each other and a desire to have their relationship recognized legally, the couple went to Massachusetts in April to be married. They became Tara and Elayne Mosher Campoli.

``We wanted a family name,'' they said almost in unison during a recent interview.

The couple and others in the local chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays say it's time for the Senate to pass a marriage-equality bill. Having a marriage certificate from the state provides a sense of legitimacy to a relationship, in addition to eligibility for benefits, several members said.

``They should let us get married _ now,'' said Julie Pecenco, who has been with her partner, Leah Bridgers, for almost 10 years. ``It's an equal-rights issue.''

Rights for homosexuals have been a public issue for decades, more recently taking a higher profile in politics and, this year, in state government.

Bill awaiting Senate vote

On April 16, Gov. David Paterson introduced a marriage-equality bill, which passed, 89-52, in the Assembly on May 12 but has not been introduced in the Senate.

The bill would amend the Domestic Relations Law to give same-sex couples the opportunity to enter into civil marriages and would mandate that all provisions of state law encompass same-sex marriages. Under the legislation, same-sex spouses would enjoy the same legal status and treatment under state law as heterosexual couples, including on issues such as property ownership, inheritance, health care and insurance coverage, Paterson said.

In May 2008, Paterson directed state agencies to recognize same-sex couples legally married outside of New York to the extent permitted by law.

In June 2007, the marriage-equality bill carried in the Assembly with an 85-61 margin but was not considered by the state Senate, then controlled by Republicans. This year's session ends in June, and senators have been tied up in a power struggle.

State Sen. John Bonacic, R-Mount Hope, said he hasn't decided whether to support the bill. His district includes Delaware County.

"I am hearing a great deal from constituents on both sides of the issue, and if and when a vote is taken I will cast my vote then," he said in a prepared statement.

State Sen. James Seward, R-Milford, has gone on record saying marriage is for opposite-gender couples, spokesman Jeff Bishop said.

Seward returned a telephone call Sunday but not another message Wednesday. His district includes Otsego and Schoharie counties and part of Chenango County.

In May, all assemblymen representing the area voted against the bill. ``No'' votes were cast by Pete Lopez, R-Schoharie, Bill Magee, D-Nelson, and Clifford Crouch, R-Guilford.

``Our area is a reasonably conservative area,'' Crouch said Wednesday.

Views will change in time, he said, but his vote reflected the majority of correspondence from constituents who were against same-sex marriage. Traditionally, marriage is between a man and a woman, he said, which is a position he personally supports.

Most marriages are consummated in a church, Crouch said, and he would favor crafting a civil-union law that provided legal protections for gay couples.

Same-sex marriage bills have been passed elsewhere

Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures website.

The Iowa Supreme Court ruled April 3 that same-sex couples have the right to marry beginning April 24, the site said, while California voters last year limited marriage to one man and one woman after a short period where same-sex marriage was legal.

Rhode Island, New York and the District of Columbia recognize same-sex marriages from other states, the conference said, and Connecticut, Vermont, New Jersey and New Hampshire have allowed civil unions that provide state-level spousal rights to same sex-couples.

The trip Elayne and Tara Mosher Campoli made shows how ridiculous it is for New York to recognize same-sex marriages of other states and not have its own law, some PFLAG members said during the group's ``Greater Oneonta Area Pride Picnic'' on Sunday.

PFLAG, which had a fundraiser earlier this year, gave the couple a grant to help with extra expenses incurred to travel out of state to marry.

``It was a lot of extra work,'' said Elayne, an at-home services coordinator at Springbrook and a 2003 graduate of the State University College at Oneonta.

The couple had to make two trips to Massachusetts _ one to apply for the marriage certificate, which carries a three-day waiting period, and another for the ceremony, she said. The couple went to North Adams, about a three-hour drive from Oneonta, to the city clerk's office to file an application.

On April 19, the couple had a commitment ceremony at the Unitarian Universalist Society in Oneonta, an event attended by about 130 guests, including family and friends. The couple went to the White Mountains in New Hampshire for a honeymoon, and on the return trip, they stopped in North Adams for their civil marriage April 23.

The couple said they would celebrate their anniversary from April 19 to 23.

Tara said it was ``rude'' for New York not to have a law allowing same-sex marriages to be conducted.

``We work here, we live here, we contribute to the community,'' said Tara, a 2005 SUNY Oneonta graduate who works as residential counselor at Springbrook, which provides services for disabled people. ``I'm not different from anyone else just because I love a woman. ... Love is love.''

New York state's position on same-sex marriage is ``regressive,'' said Marshall ``Swamp'' Webster, of Oneonta, during the PFLAG picnic. Webster said he hopes the bill reaches the Senate floor.

``It's a matter of human and civil rights,'' he said.

New York took more than 30 years to implement its Sexual Orientation Non-Discriminatory Act.

In June 1969, the Stonewall riots erupted in New York City, marking the time generally considered to be the beginning of the modern gay-rights movement.

On Feb. 16, 1971, the first version of SONDA, which sought to add sex, marital status and sexual orientation as protected categories to the human-rights law, was introduced into the Assembly, according to a timeline by the Empire State Pride Agenda website. In December 2002, then-Gov. George Pataki signed the SONDA Act that went into effect Jan. 16, 2003.

Bridgers described the state's position of recognizing same-sex marriages secured in other states without having its own law as bizarre. Her church, the Unitarian Society, would approve her union with a woman, she said, and it would be ``nice'' to have official state recognition.

Recently, Bridgers and more than 20 other PFLAG members met with Seward to urge him to vote for the bill.

Pecenco said she and Bridgers will wait to marry until the state law passes.

``We absolutely want it to happen,'' she said.

Copyright © 1999-2008 cnhi, inc.

Photos