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Parenting Imperfect

December 7, 2013

Of kids, phone calls and toilet paper


Said dog greeted me when I walked in the door, wagging her nub of a tail.

“You’re still on my naughty list,” I growled at her. Then I noticed that the entire entryway, kitchen and family room were festooned with what looked like fat snowflakes. I looked at the dog again. She wagged her nub again.

I walked on. The dining room was also full of snow, as were the stairs, the upstairs hallway and my office.

I looked at the dog, who’d been following at my heel the entire time. Now in her mouth was what remained of a roll of toilet paper, which had been pilfered from the guest bathroom. She looked pleased.

The kids, who had heard me come home, popped their heads out of their rooms and saw the TP carnage.

“Why didn’t anyone try to stop her?” I asked.

Both shrugged.

“How could you not notice an entire house covered in shredded toilet paper?”

More shrugs.

I guess I should just be happy that they didn’t give me a call.

Adrienne Martini is a freelance writer, instructor at the State University College at Oneonta, mom to Maddy and Cory, wife to Scott, and author of “Sweater Quest.” Her columns can be found at

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