The kids spent most of Martin Luther King Jr. Day bickering.
They bickered about who got to stand in front of the wood stove. Then about who was hogging more space in front of the wood stove. Then about who got to play with the package of balloons the Diva had bought with her allowance the day before.
And on it went, until the sounds of the bickering became the equivalent of a buzzing mosquito about three centimeters from your ear. You can tune it out, mostly, but you still can’t quite relax.
Shortly after lunch, one of the Diva’s friends called to invite her over for the rest of the afternoon. Inside, my heart gave a little jig. I asked her to clean up the balloons, then packed her into the car and delivered her to the friend’s house.
When I walked back in, one of the Boy’s friends called to invite him over for the rest of the afternoon. Reader, I nearly fainted from the joy. I packed him into the car and delivered him to the friend’s house.
At last I can get something done! In the quiet! Oh, quiet. Why did I not appreciate you more before I had kids?
But before I could get to my computer, I needed to call my husband to let him know that he needed to pick up Kid No. 1 on his way home from work. And so I did, only to have to cut the conversation short with a “I’ll call you back. The dog is trying to eat a balloon.”
In the time it took me to hang up and take one step toward the dog, she swallowed it.
So I called my husband back, since the phone was still in my hand.