The kids file into the high school classroom with the usual talking, bickering and teasing. Inevitably, one student will loudly ridicule another.
"Oh, that's so gay!"
Suppose you're the teacher. What do you do?
According to the kids I've spoken to, you probably don't do anything. You pretend you didn't hear anything and go about your business.
Those words appeared in this space in April 2003, and I regret that things seem not to have changed for the better ... and may well have gotten worse.
I'm told the phrase "that's so gay" is still heard repeatedly at Oneonta High and probably every other middle and high school in our area.
It's not a matter of political correctness. It's a matter of ignorance and prejudice.
Let's face it, it's only a hop, skip and a jump from pejorative banter at the local high school to what happened last weekend at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington when author and columnist Ann Coulter referred to John Edwards as a "faggot."
"I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards," Coulter told the group. "But it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot,' so I _ so kind of an impasse, can't really talk about Edwards."
Coulter's previous outrageous statements include saying that certain widows of 9/11 victims enjoyed their husbands' deaths because it brought them some celebrity. She also opined this about Muslims.
"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."
Coulter is clearly a wingnut and an embarrassment to mainstream conservatives. Several right-leaning writers and Republican presidential candidates Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and Mitt Romney ripped her after her slur against Edwards.
But what really is troubling is the reaction from the audience at the conference. It's on YouTube. Go ahead and listen for yourself.
Her referring to Edwards (who is married, a father and by all accounts heterosexual) as a "faggot" evoked cheers, laughter and even an appreciative whistle.
Why were those people celebrating? What kind of upbringing taught them to react like that?
What kind of upbringing will the next generation have if it hears "that's so gay, that's so gay, that's so gay" every day?
To blame the schools isn't fair, but still, they can and should be doing more. At Berkeley High School in California, a gay student club distributed buttons with the words "That's so gay" crossed out.
Not a bad idea at all.
Oneonta High Principal Nancy Osborn told me that several programs are in place there to fight intolerance and that all inappropriate and threatening language is dealt with when brought to the administration's attention.
But, I asked her, if a student is in the halls and loudly saying "nigger" or "dirty Jew" or "that's so gay," would a teacher or administrator treat all the slurs with the same seriousness?
"No," she said with what I perceived as a bit of regret in her voice. "Some terms are just becoming more common. For instance, the (four-letter) 'F' word is very common. It's inappropriate, and we address it, but a lot of students feel they can say a lot of things that our generation wouldn't say."
In Santa Rosa, Calif., a high school freshman named Rebekah Rice was recently teased about being a Mormon by classmates who asked, "Do you have 10 moms?"
Rebekah replied: "That's so gay." She got sent to the principal's office, then received a warning and a notation in her student file.
The kids who teased her about being Mormon apparently weren't disciplined, and that was patently unfair, in addition to being another example of ignorance and foolishness.
Rebekah's parents are suing the school, saying it violated her First Amendment rights when she used a phrase that "enjoys widespread currency in youth culture."
If the phrase "enjoys" (a silly word in this context) such currency, it's because parents, teachers and other grown-ups don't challenge it, and thus give it their tacit approval.
Think about how debilitating, humiliating and confusing it is to be a gay kid and having to hear time and again that what you are is synonymous with something awful.
Jim Koury, editor of the local gay publication, "Diversity Rules," talked to me about the "social ostracism, depression and intense peer pressure" for local youngsters to stay in the closet.
"Look at the suicide rates among gay youths," Koury said. "They're much higher than for young people who are straight."
John Edwards, responding to Coulter's speech, said it was "hateful, selfish, childish behavior."
Ms. Coulter is probably a lost cause, but we can and must do more to deal with the "childish behavior" of our children before they grow up to be bigots.
Finally getting rid of "that's so gay" would seem to be a good first step.
Sam Pollak is editor of The Daily Star. He can be reached at email@example.com or at (607) 432-1000, ext. 208.
- Sam Pollak
Religion should be a comfort, not a weapon
Discuss politics or religion in any establishment that specializes in dispensing alcohol, and -- proprietors warn -- the discussion is highly likely to result in you waking up on the tavern floor and spitting out teeth, probably your own.
The world must think we're nuts
Full disclosure here: I have not surveyed the views of every one of the nearly 7 billion people on Earth who do not live in the United States. Still I feel on solid ground when I submit that the rest of the world must surely believe that Americans are crazy.
Mistakes easy to take ... if they're not yours
Every newspaper editor I know has the same philosophy about ghastly mistakes.
Celebrate 2013 with the annual 'Sammy Awards'
OK, now I'm good and angry. After eight years of pounding the keys until my fingerprints wear off while producing my coveted Sammy Awards, I discover that something called Security Sales and Integration (SSI) Magazine is attempting to horn in on my good name with its own Sammy Awards.
The feds still aren't coming for your guns
"Tuck this column you wrote away in your scrapbook ... it will one day prove to be a source of great embarrassment for you."
- Saturday, November 16, 2013
50 years can't fade a day to remember
For the record -- and to ease the burden of research for my future biographers -- I was eating a tuna fish sandwich … on white bread … with lettuce and mayo.
- Saturday, October 26, 2013
Getting robbed of my untapped potential
This …. well … could have happened.
- Saturday, October 5, 2013
Here's what I've learned about the next generation
"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. ... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly (disrespectful) and impatient of restraint."
- Saturday, September 14, 2013
I blame the liberals for America's mess
I blame the liberals.
- Saturday, August 24, 2013
Treat A-Rod like a player, not a gladiator
Compared with -- say -- the practices of ancient Rome, the penalties for failure of character or performance on today's athletic fields could be considered rather mild.
- Saturday, August 3, 2013
Americans need a vacation from gridlock
Exhausted from a nonstop regimen of doing nothing, members of Congress -- the best politicians money can buy -- are badly in need of a vacation.
- Saturday, July 13, 2013
Success in politics is just scandalous
After a professional lifetime of chronicling the feats and foibles of politicians, I got to wondering what it might be like to become one.
- Saturday, June 22, 2013
Reflections of a really lousy movie date
All those girls who turned me down when I was single and asked them if they'd like to go to a movie with me don't know how fortunate they were.
- Saturday, June 1, 2013
Justice Dept., IRS abuses worth screaming about
"If this had happened while a Republican was president, the liberal media would be screaming."
- Monday, May 20, 2013
THIS WEEK'S POLL
- Saturday, May 11, 2013
Using time off in the worst way possible
"You don't mean it," I pleaded. "You simply can't mean it!"
- Saturday, April 20, 2013
Terror lives on, and there's no end in sight
The horrific scenes out of Boston on Monday will be hard, if not impossible, to forget, unless, of course, it happens again ... and again ... and again.
- Saturday, March 30, 2013
Remembering the glory of their times
So, last Sunday, instead of writing The Great American Novel like I ought to be, I'm idly looking in my usual dumb fashion at a television screen.
- Saturday, March 9, 2013
Column on guns led to a barrage of (mostly) jeers
You know, I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps there was not universal agreement regarding what I authored in this space three weeks ago.
- Saturday, February 16, 2013
No one is coming to take your guns
I have some disappointing news for some of the more-virulent foes of sane gun-control legislation.
- Religion should be a comfort, not a weapon