Published: February 29, 2008 11:00 pm      

Teen Talk: Check with Chad: Friend lacking people skills

Dear Chad,

My best friend of four years has a little problem "¦ I think. No one really likes him but me, and I'm afraid that this might lead him into trouble later on in life. He is very polite, and very selfless, but he still doesn't really know how to act in front of people in general. I think he could be defined as eccentric "" I am myself, which is probably why we get along so well.

The difference is that I know how to act in front of people and he doesn't. I'm not quite sure what the problem is, I just feel like there is one.

What do you think about the situation? I'm up for any advice that could potentially make me feel better, so thank you in advance for any that you may give me.

Sincerely,

Booboo

Dear Booboo,

It seems to me that you are worried about any trouble your friend may get into in the "real world" without the people skills you feel he does not possess. This is not a bad thing _ as a friend it is good that you care about him so much. It seems like your friend is just trying to find his own way in life, his own path if, you will.

I have a friend much like that, and he is much happier being himself than, as he puts it, "those other drones" even if it makes him a bit eccentric. I think you should just continue to care about him, and help him slowly with his people skills, while still letting him keep his on individuality.

I hope I could have helped. Good luck to you and your friend.

With best wishes,

Chad

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Dear Chad,

I'm stuck in a tight spot, and I'm not sure what to do. I have this friend that I have been best friends with for a vast majority of my life.

For the past year I'm starting to get feelings for him that are more than just friends.

He makes me very happy, as he always has, and he is the only person to whom I can tell anything.

His family is like my own, and his parents call me their second son, as my parents call him theirs.

If you haven't noticed the problem yet, I'm gay, and I'm not sure if he is. I am almost positive that he knows I am, and I have had my suspicions about him being gay, too. What should I do?

I really don't want to ruin the friendship with him for something that may never be.

Thanks for listening,

Purple

Dear Purple,

I think this is far less complicated than you are making it out to be. This is your best friend you are talking about, so he probably knows about you being gay, or at least has a suspicion about it, like you do him. I would take this step by step: First, tell him you're gay. Like I said before, he probably already knows, and letting it out will probably make you two closer than before.

If he is, he may even tell you, being afraid of the same thing you are. The second step is letting him know how you feel about him. Who knows? He may feel the same toward you. Take your time; this all doesn't have to be done in a day, or even a month. Trust your intuition when it comes to doing this. Whatever you decide to do, good luck with your decision.

I hope I have helped you in some way.

Sincerely,

Chad

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Chad Shipman is a junior at Unadilla Valley High School. You can send your questions to Chad by e-mail at chad’shipman21@yahoo.com, or by mail to Check with Chad, c/o The Daily Star, P.O. Box 250, Oneonta, NY 13820.