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December 17, 2011

Teenhood Today: Cookies, clever carols, coal "¦ ah, Christmas

Daily Star

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I love the holiday season!

My life is filled with eggnog, cookies and the Santa Clauses at the mall, with their "ho-ho-ho-merry-Christmas." You have to have that deep belly voice and fake smile perfect to qualify to be Santa's mall helper.

I don't think that I would like that job.

I mean, it's a perfect opportunity for kids to climb up on Santa's lap and allow their gaseous perfume to fill the room.

Think about it. No matter what the kids do, he still has to hold them on his lap, smile and ask the kids what they want for Christmas even if he knows that they're getting coal.

That's another thing.

What kid wouldn't want coal?

It's made of dead things, is sometimes shiny (pretty, pretty, pretty), and can easily be disguised in a snowball. That kid automatically wins the snowball fight.

Around this time of year there are lots of lights outside. I think the Christmas lights are really there to trick people into thinking that it's daytime, they're bright enough.

But I do love looking at all of the lights and choosing my favorites. I love the big spectacular yet simple and sparkly ones.

Your challenge: Try decorating like that this year!

I love the presents that start to pop out under my tree. Big ones, small ones, bicycle-shaped ones (don't be fooled … it's really a cookie).

The only terrible thing about the presents is the fact that no one will tell me what they are. I absolutely hate surprises.

That's why I was so happy when I found an awesome keyboard on sale on Black Friday. Not only am I going to have a keyboard to record with, I also know what one of my presents is! Yippee!

I also love the carols. I love singing in general, and I sing all the time.

I sing in the shower, when I walk from one place to another, on my spaceship to Candy Land (it is, of course, a real place). I love going around Christmas caroling!

It makes me happy.

There are so many good Christmas songs, like "Jingle Bells," "Silent Night," and the ones that my brothers and I make up (we haven't thought of names for them yet, but I'm sure that they will be good and worthy names).

The difficult thing about Christmas, however, is all of the ideas behind Christmas. Why is it celebrated? Maybe some great philosopher sat down one day and thought to himself "I think that there should be an entire holiday dedicated to getting gifts, eating, and being greedy!"

Yeah, no way. No philosopher (aka smart person) is going to come up with something like that.

What if the cookie monster started the holiday so that people will eat more cookies? Or, maybe the holiday was started because an amazing gift was given to everyone. It only makes sense that when a great gift is received, a great gift should be given.

I agree with that theory. I believe that the great gift was the gift of Christ, our savior. Get it? Christmas comes from the word Christ. When Christ was given as a gift to us, the wisemen brought gifts to him, therefore starting the tradition of gift-giving on Christmas. I, for one, am very thankful that the great gift was given.

As you celebrate this year, enjoy the cookies, coal and carols. Challenge No. 2: Read the following in a deep belly voice and plaster a fake smile on your face: "Ho-ho-ho-merry-Christmas!" Or, as I, the non-Santa, like to say: Merry Christ-mas!

Miriam A. Thurber is a freshman at Unatego Central School. 'Teen Talk' columns can be found at www.