I was going to write this week's column about my recent wisdom teeth extraction, but thanks to sedatives, I don't remember any of the details of it.
The only real proof I have that it actually happened are the four slightly larger teeth added to my baby teeth collection that most definitely were not there before, and the constant dull pain stemming from the back of my jaw.
But if we're being honest here, the latter is barely proof at all. I'm a terribly clumsy person, and forgetful to match. In the course of an average day there are about 100 ways I could have accidentally hurt myself, and about 200 things to have distracted me and overridden my pain until it sneaks up on me later.
Still, I'm pretty sure that this procedure took place, because I do remember being at the oral surgeon's office at some point in the morning, even if the actual details of the appointment are a bit foggy.
In my recollection of the morning, I woke up, went to the doctor's, sat down in a chair in a room with lots of dental tools in it, had a lighthearted conversation with the staff, started to get a bit woozy, and proceeded to dodge lightning in an old red Jeep with someone who looked vaguely like Jack Nicholson while the voice of God boomed down with information about the latest Tylenol recalls.
Later, after waking up and having an actual coherent conversation with the staff, I was told that while they were actually discussing the latest Tylenol recalls during my procedure, the lightning and Jack Nicholson were probably just part of a dream.
Now since you already know that I suffer from extreme clumsiness, forgetfulness and the embarrassment of dreaming about Jack Nicholson, I think we're at the point in our relationship where you can add one more thing to that list of afflictions _ incurable curiosity.
And so, seeing as I am powerless to this sense of curiosity, and also because this column has a word limit that has not yet been reached, I decided to do a little research and interpret this dream for you all, to the best of my Web browser's abilities.
According to the-one-with-almighty-knowledge (more commonly known as Google), to dream about lightning signifies "sudden awareness."
While I thoroughly enjoy the idea of having a sudden awareness of some sort, I'm a tad doubtful about this.
If I was so unexpectedly insightful, I would have been aware that consuming a medium strawberry shake from McDonald's after undergoing IV sedation for wisdom teeth extraction would have an unpleasant aftermath.
And apparently, dreaming about a Jeep means that I need to "adopt a more active lifestyle," which I also have trouble accepting.
Dance classes five times a week and I still have to adopt a more active lifestyle? When will I have time for "General Hospital"?
Unfortunately, Google has failed me with the last bit of vital information in decoding my dream. Numerous searches for the meaning of dreaming about Jack Nicholson have come up empty, which, frankly, I find extremely disappointing, and somewhat un-American.
Researching this dream set off my acute curiosity even more, and I have given Google another chance to prove its credibility, this time in the form of a search of the most common dreams. The websites found in this search gave me varied answers, although most were consistent in the belief that dreams about falling, being chased and teeth falling out are among the most common.
Though being disappointed in myself for not dreaming the last dream during my wisdom teeth extraction for a wicked sense of irony, I was still kind of enthralled by the time and effort people took decoding dreams (and/or creating bogus answers) for the rest of the general population.
I was a little bit amazed by all of the different takes on dreams that many people have had, and I have had, as well.
For instance, dreaming about falling could mean that something is taking a wrong direction in your life at rapid speed.
Dreaming about being chased could mean that you are avoiding a confrontation with someone or a situation. And dreaming about teeth falling out could mean that you should take time to consciously think before you speak.
Almost like horoscopes, finding the meaning in your dreams is an interesting way to take a different and in-depth look at current situations in your life.
Unless, of course, you're dreaming about Jack Nicholson, in which case you're on your own.
Adrian Adamo is a senior at Oneonta High School. 'Teen Talk' columns can be found at www.thedailystar.com/teentalk.