Some things that happen in a lifetime are most embarrassing and it has taken me awhile to relate this experience.

When a youngster, or just younger, than now I would guess that a "boo-boo" could be easily excused or explained but, as you will clearly see, I am still embarrassed to say the least. But why relate it? It's worth a good laugh.

Retired or just tired out? Have your pick. But, needless to say, as a person lives through those "Golden Years" (that's such a misnomer) expectations of many a blunder can be expected: So forewarned is forearmed.

My husband and I always seem to be together (a good marriage in every sense) and so when it comes to his browsing in the large building supplies you will usually find me trotting right behind him pushing my individual empty shopping cart (which makes a good "walker") ready for a good saving _ after all, some say, you can save money by spending money.

Being in that elderly group that doctors deem that the hydrochlorothiazide tablet is an absolute must, then the "must" is to visit the ladies room whenever possible. I never thought I'd be a candidate for that infamous water pill, and hubby is ever so patient but this time was the coup de grace!

After traveling the length of the store, we stopped to examine a few items when all of a sudden there was a loud thump behind me: "Stand still" was the thundering command.

I froze. Startled, I turned around to see what in the world was going on. A tall young man gazed downward with his foot firmly planted next to mine.

At first I had thought he had squashed a nasty bug or whatever but, no. There, under his foot, was a sizeable wad of toilet tissue and it had been attached to, of all places, me.

I had literally paraded down the entire length of the store floating the banner announcing where I had been. Horrors!

That young man was so courteous and brave to come to the aid of this senior but all I did was flee as fast as I could go out the nearest exit. I was so completely mortified that I was rendered speechless not even giving my hero the deserved "thank you."

I feel terrible to think again of not showing my appreciation, and so if you are reading this or if you know of that young man, please _ yes, please _ let him know of my gratitude.

I guess we girls can vote for full length mirrors by our exit doors.

Of course the older men are not to be out done by us gals:

Wasn't there a TV show of long ago with the theme/challenge, "Can You Top This?"

When a situation occurs that is simply hilarious you would usually say, 'That's one for the books!' Well, that's what I do: Write it down with all the details so as not to miss any of the hilarious spontaneity of the moment for recall.

"Unforeseen circumstances" come into play many a time, and it was just that for when my husband walked through the door one evening he was waving a pair of my lacy pink panties high in the air. He was laughing so hard he could hardly speak.

"Where'd you get those from?" I queried, scowling, for older folks should know better then to play such games. At least these older folks should.

The explanation finally came out in drips and drabbles between the peels of laughter. Unbelievable.

"Upon visiting the men's room at the public meeting, I felt something under the side of my shorts. I couldn't imagine _ what in the world? Reaching down I pulled these out. Then, I didn't know what to do with them _ how embarrassing: Now what?"

Well what?

"I put them back where I found them and here they are."

So much for static cling, and a good chuckle until our sides hurt.

Elaine W. Kniskern is a 77-year-old resident of Schenevus and a grandmother of five. She can reached at 'Senior Scene' columns can be found at

Trending Video

Recommended for you