Dear Chad,

Lately my girlfriend of three years and I have been arguing. She insists that we have already talked about the problem, but I swear I don't remember any such talk between us. I keep asking her to tell me what is wrong, but every time, she won't because she says she already has. Even though I've admitted defeat and told her that I forgot about our talk, she still refuses to talk to me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to throw away a three-yeard relationship, but on the other hand, I can't keep one together by myself.



Dear Confused,

It sounds to me like your girlfriend is not being helpful in this situation. A relationship cannot work unless two people are working at it. Right now, you seem to be the only one putting forth any effort in working out your problems. If you forgot the talk she claims you had, she should be willing to remind you so that you can have a clue as to why she's upset. In a relationship, both members should be willing to work with the faults of the other person, and it seems like she is not willing to do that for you.

I would suggest telling her that you cannot be in a relationship where the other person refuses to help. I know it may be hard at first, but you cannot fix a relationship by yourself.

Good Luck,


Dear Chad,

My parents have a difficult time trusting me to be alone in the house. I'm 16 years old, and I feel like I should be able to be left alone in my home without a baby sitter (it's rather embarrassing).

Unfortunately, I don't know what I could possibly do or say to make my parents come to the realization that I'm not a baby anymore.

Can you help me figure out what to say?


Growing Up

Dear Growing Up,

I would sit down with your parents and pretty much just tell them what you told me. Let them know how you feel about the situation. Get them to agree on a test run. If that works, see how things go from there.

In many cases, I believe parents are just worried that something bad will happen to their kid. I don't think the problem is the trust they have in you. Honesty is (in most cases) the best way to go, so just let your feelings be known to your parents "" they have to let you grow up sooner or later.

Best of Luck,


Dear Chad,

Lately I've been kind of depressed. No, that's a lie. I've been very depressed. I don't want you to think I'm suicidal, because I'm not. I won't go to a psychiatrist because I don't think they work for me, based on past experiences.

The problem is quite simple _ I'm not happy. Everything I do to try to make life better only comes back with worse results, whether it be going on a trip with a friend or going to the movies. Somehow something is always missing. I don't understand this, what is wrong with me?


Missing Part

Dear Missing Part,

I think life has a sick way of tossing obstacles at us that may seem impossible to overcome or just unfair. I believe things happen for a reason, although that reason may not always be clear. You should take some time to yourself and think about what life means to you and what you want. Once you have a goal, stick to it. No matter what life throws at you, keep going for it.

As for the psychiatrist thing, I do think you should talk to someone. If you don't want to go to a professional, at least talk to a friend or family member, just to get your thoughts out. Sometimes it helps to simply share what you're going through.

Hope things go well,


Chad Shipman is a senior at Unadilla Valley High School. You can send your questions to Chad by e-mail at chad�, or by mail to Check with Chad, c/o The Daily Star, P.O. Box 250, Oneonta, NY 13820.

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